BROADSIDES

June 28, 2002

'UNDER GOD' IN WARTIME: Not only is the anti-Pledge ruling "hubristic," "elitist," "arrogant," and "the worst form of modernist condescension," it also serves to undermine America's war effort. So says military historian Victor Davis Hanson.

B. Sides @ 10:14 AM

June 27, 2002

GOD REINSTATED....FOR NOW: The Ninth Circuit blinks! Judge Goodwin's stay is bittersweet in that it was fun to watch the Senate Democrats panic over the possible political ramifications of Ninth Circuit's anti-Pledge ruling. Someone should check Tom Daschle's phone log for any record of a call to the Ninth Circuit chambers.

B. Sides @ 5:01 PM

DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN: Atheists and the National Education Association may have to change their underoos after hearing about this.

B. Sides @ 1:44 PM

ONE NATION UNDER GOSH: The notoriously wacko Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals headed its ugly rear yesterday and struck down the Pledge of Allegiance as unconstitutional. The kooky court found that the phrase "under God" violated the doctrine of a separation of church and state. There's one small problem with that: the phrase "separation of church and state" isn't in the Constitution. Oops! Rather, the Constitution specifically prohibits any law "respecting an establishment of religion."

So, does the 1954 statute adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance establish a government religion or church? Nope.

Does it provide government funding for a religion or church? Nope.

Is it, therefore, constitutional? Yep.

Did the Ninth Circuit blackrobes get their law degrees from a correspondence school? Sure as hell seems that way.

I don't care whether "under God" is included in the Pledge. I do care when federal judges strike down a constitutional law just because a plaintiff is too damned lazy to work for its repeal through the legislative process.

B. Sides @ 1:28 PM

CUBAN COMMIES HAVE THE JITTERS: Cuba's commie overlords suddenly need their inert constitution and have proposed an amendment which requires a communist government. Insisting the amendment is "key" to "what we do" after Darth Castro and his contemporaries kick the red bucket, the foreign minister said the measure would prevent future generations from being "disarmed of our ideas." Adding his support to the amendment, the Cuban vice president maintains that abandoning communism is "impossible," and that "the revolution is unconquerable and socialism is irrevocable." Well, if that's true, why do you need the amendment, dingus? Rule of thumb: When a totalitarian regime dusts off its "constitution" to add an amendment which mandates the continuation of the regime, that regime is on the verge of collapse.

B. Sides @ 11:57 AM

June 26, 2002

DUCK SOUP, PLO STYLE: The Rufus T. Firefly of the Middle East has, at long last, been written off by President Bush. Yasser Arafat's initial reaction -- insisting that he was democratically elected -- was so comedic in its detachment from reality, that it should've been accompanied by a rimshot. Give that man a Friars Club roast! But seriously, folks....

....the most intriguing part of W's speech outlining conditions for a Palestinian state was the ultimatum aimed at Syria: "And Syria must choose the right side in the war on terror by closing terrorist camps and expelling terrorist organizations." WOOHOO! Since last September, Syria has escaped much of the public scrutiny and condemnation rightly aimed at Iran and Iraq. No longer. By his statement, W has labeled Syria for what it is: a terrorist hive. And since Lebanon is to Syria what Miss Piggy is to Frank Oz, it's safe to assume that the terrorist operations based in Lebanon are now on W's radar and fair game for Israeli attack.

FROM THE 'WHO GIVES A DAMN?" DEPT: The BBC reports that Tony Blair "refused to back US President George W Bush's demand for the removal of Yasser Arafat . . ."

B. Sides @ 12:49 PM