BROADSIDES

June 29, 2003

Quote Of The Day
"I don't need Bush's tax cut. I have never worked a fucking day in my life."
-- soused congressman Patrick Kennedy (D-RI), committing truth under the influence at the Acropolis night club in Washington, June 25, 2003

B. Sides @ 10:21 AM

June 19, 2003

The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund
New York City's Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum has established the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund to assist "military families that have paid the ultimate price: the loss of a loved one in defense of our country."

The IFH Fund is endowed by some of the country's leading philanthropists, one of whom is Arnold Fisher. As he recently wrote in the New York Post:

Nothing can compensate them for the loss of a husband or wife, a father or mother. But we can show them that they are not forgotten, and that we are with them through the trying times they must now endure . . .We will provide financial support to these families, both American and British, in the form of a $10,000 gift, with no strings attached. This support is intended to help these families with any immediate or long-term financial needs . . . In addition, as the result of a special gift from a donor who wishes to remain anonymous, we will provide an additional gift of $1,000 to the families of all U.S. military personnel lost in Iraq, regardless of whether they were married or had children.

These gifts are meant to assist those in need rather than generate publicity so, as is mentioned on the IFH Fund website, the funding is discreetly granted and "without fanfare." And, amazingly, 100% of donations to the fund go to the military families.

"We are committed to doing all we can to help America's military family," Arnold Fisher writes, "and the military family of our close friends in Great Britain, who have shared with us the burden of the fight for freedom. Allow us all to never forget the cost of freedom, and the families who have sacrificed for it."

If you want to assist the families of those who gave their lives defending America's freedom, you can make a tax-deductible contribution to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund online here or send a check to The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, c/o Intrepid Museum Foundation, One Intrepid Square, West 46th Street & 12th Avenue, New York NY 10036.

B. Sides @ 9:30 AM

The Democrats' New Mascot
Let me put this as gingerly as possible: six-year-old Abagail Shaw's neighbor is a colossal asshole.

Shortly after Abagail opened a small lemonade stand in her front yard, her neighbor--unidentified in this news report--filed a complaint with the Naples, Florida police. Having no permit to sell lemonade, the police were forced to shut down the lil' entrepreneur's thriving business.

Fortunately, the story has a happy ending. Abagail's mom obtained the permits, Naples zoning officials waived the $36 fees and Abagail is back in business. And what of the neighbor? Well, I assume she continues to be mean, resentful, and envious. In other words, she must be a Democrat.

B. Sides @ 7:39 AM

June 13, 2003

Have Cornelius And Zira Had Their Shots?
Let me understand this: monkeypox is spread by prairie dogs?? Then why isn't it called prairie pox? Hmm...wait a second...I think I know why.

Try saying "prairie pox". Ok?

Now say it five times fast. Go ahead, I'll wait.

See? You can't do it.

I hope this revelation contributes to the discovery of a cure.

Noted monkeypox observationist James Lileks offers these monkeypox observations:

Those of us in the news business enjoy a story like this, because we get to use phrases like "infected prairie dog," that rarely come up, unless that's your beat. And the things you learn: The verminous creatures were sold at Phil's Pocket Pets in Chicago. Got that? Pocket pets. Usually, if someone said "I have a prairie dog in my pocket" I would be inclined to say "I'm sure you do" and move a few feet away. Now I will run, lest a poxy dog burst from the guy's fanny pack like the alien in the sci-fi movie and fasten itself to my face.

B. Sides @ 11:13 AM

Vittles For Thought
From the WSJ's Opinion Journal:

Here's a mischievous thought: What if administration officials actually know where the weapons are, but are withholding the information? The idea would be to get the Bush-haters as far out on a limb as possible in their insistence that Bush lied and Saddam wasn't really so bad--then saw off the limb by revealing the weapons finds.

Don't get us wrong; we don't actually believe this. Our view is that the Bush administration is an unusually honest one, and there's no reason to think it was untruthful about either prewar intelligence or the postwar search for weapons. But the conspiracy-minded folks who are intent on discrediting the liberation of Iraq assume everything Bush says is a lie, so from their point of view, our little theory ought to be eminently plausible. We bring it up only because we relish the thought that it'll drive them crazy--or, we should say, even crazier than they already are.

B. Sides @ 11:08 AM

June 12, 2003

A Boob-of-the-Month Club Selection
The Castro News Network is reporting that Senator Trent Lott is threatening to write a book. "I'm going to tell all," Trent claims. Tell all about what? His hair? Only his stylist knows for sure.

B. Sides @ 10:02 AM