BROADSIDES

January 29, 2007

America's Duke of Windsor
Disclaimer: I'm not questioning Sen. John Kerry's patriotism because he has none to question.

While presumably attending the World Economic Forum in Switzerland to promote his idea that marrying rich women is the answer to all economic woes, John Kerry sat on a panel with a former Iranian president and denounced Bush for not engaging Iran and labeled the United States as "a sort of international pariah."

Those of us who have followed this shameless golddigger's career aren't surprised to hear him inadvertently confirm the fact that he's a traitor. But for him to do so while seated with a leading Iranian Nazi is a new low for John Kerry.

By this act of treason, the Democrats' failed 2004 presidential candidate joins company with England's failed king, Edward VIII. After abdicating his throne in 1936, Edward was given the consolation prize of the newly created peerage title Duke of Windsor. Seeking to regain some of his former influence, the Duke not only befriended Adolf Hitler, he also actively opposed British efforts to stop the Fuhrer. In the midst of the British war against Germany, the Duke wrote a letter in 1941 to the editor of the American magazine Liberty in which he declared, "it would be a tragic thing if Hitler was overthrown."

So it's official. John Kerry, the American Duke of Windsor, is a traitor--just like his disgraced British role model. Even the photographic evidence confirms this: click here and here.

B. Sides @ 12:13 PM

January 17, 2007

Darth Castro Plans Trip To Hell
It appears that cancer is doing what the CIA never could--killing Fidel Castro.

Recent news accounts suggest that Castro's scheduled summit with Satan was moved up after Cuban doctors botched his surgery. That's hardly surprising considering that medical facilities on Gilligan's Island are more advanced than on Fidel's Island. (You suppose that the oxygen mask was half a coconut shell and the anesthesiologist supplied oxygen by pedaling a bamboo bicycle?) Ah, the fruits of socialism.

Look at the bright side, Fidel. At least in your afterlife, you'll never need a lighter for your cigar.

B. Sides @ 10:37 AM

Mistaken Identity
"Attorney Found Naked In Courthouse With 14-Year-Old" -- NBC10 headline, Philadelphia

This headline linked on Drudge shocked me because I always thought Bill Clinton lost his law license.

Turns out it wasn't Bill at all but a criminal defense attorney observing Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in a particularly heinous manner.

Wouldn't surprise me if this lowlife defends himself by quoting an old Cheech & Chong bit and pleading insanity because "I'm just crazy about that girl!"

Cheech & Chong fans will remember that the judge rejected that plea and ordered the bailiff to "whack his pee-pee!" That'd be a good first step for this vermin. Then lock him up and throw away the key.

B. Sides @ 10:08 AM

January 08, 2007

Dems Take A Holiday
Matt Drudge is hammering the House Democrats for breaking a campaign promise to work a 5-day week. (They've scheduled a business-as-usual 4-day work week.) Drudge also notes:

Hill sources claim The House is taking Monday 'off' this week, because of the championship football game between Ohio State and the University of Florida.

Sure enough, the House is not in session today. Actually that's a fortunate thing because, being Democrats, they'd probably pass a bill requiring tonight's game to end in a tie.

Go Buckeyes!

B. Sides @ 10:13 AM

January 01, 2007

The Broadsides Doctrine
A few suggestions for winning the war in Iraq and the broader war on terrorist nations ...

The president should do the opposite of what the Iraq Survey Group recommends. Rather than snatching defeat from the jaws of victory by setting a withdrawal timetable and negotiating with Iran and Syria (as the ISG wants), he should hold those two regimes to account for each terrorist attack in Iraq and Afghanistan. As long as Syria and Iran pay no price for fomenting terrorism there, democratic reforms in Iraq and Afghanistan will never survive and America's security will be endangered.

I'm not suggesting regime-changing military invasions of Iran and Syria. Regime change, in these two cases, should be a long term goal. In the short term, I would like to see the president announce to the world a merging of the Bush and Reagan Doctrines with emphasis on three points:

1) A reaffirmation that the U.S. will use preemptive strikes against terror-sponsoring countries;

2) For each Islamist terrorist attack in Iraq, Afghanistan or anywhere else -- be it an IED, suicide bombing, kidnapping, etc. -- there should be prompt retaliatory airstrikes on high-value military and economic targets in Iran and Syria. In other words, force Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Bashar Assad to pay a painfully high and, ultimately, prohibitive price for murdering Americans, Iraqis and Afghans; and

3) The U.S. should actively support Iranian and Syrian opposition groups seeking to overthrow their countries' tyrannical regimes. This way, the eventual regime changes in Iran and Syria will be the result of a homegrown revolution thus having instant legitimacy.

Finally (and this is crucial), the president needs to define the enemy in no uncertain terms. America's principal enemies in this world war are Iran, Syria and the terrorist mercenaries those regimes employ. And all strategies we use in fighting this conflict must be grounded in that fact.

B. Sides @ 1:48 PM