style="margin-top:40px; BROADSIDES

March 27, 2006

Drop The Chalupa and Have A PB&J Sammich
What motivates Mexicans to risk everything to flee Mexico for life as an illegal immigrant in America?

Mexican food, that's what.

Think about it. If you spent your life on a daily diet of re-fried beans, rock-beaten bread and spices that smell like rancid sweat, you'd make a mad rush for the border, too.

This is what all the proposals for stemming the tide of Mexican illegals fail to address. The United States should pressure Mexico to outlaw Mexican food and replace it with American cuisine. That way, Mexicans will get way too fat to ever attempt the exhaustive trek across the Rio Grande.

Granted, that's a long-term solution.

What about in the short-term?

For starters, make a real effort to stop illegals at the border. And if that takes citizen patrols such as the Minutemen because the Feds are too politically correct to do their job, so be it.

Next, promptly deport anyone who is here illegally.

Finally, no state should ever permit or tolerate organized protests on American soil by foreigners who are -- by virtue of their illegal entry into the country -- criminals. So why not turn these protests into a sting? Considering that there would be slew of illegals in one spot, busting them would be a cinch. (It's kind of like those operations where police send fugitives phony "You Won a Car!" sweepstakes notices and then arrest them when they show up to claim the prize.)

And even if these protests by illegals continue, who gives a shit? Many, if not most, of these protestors aren't here legally and thus can't legally vote. So who cares what they think? Until they're legal immigrants or naturalized citizens, their opinions don't matter.

When it comes to immigration reform, I tend to agree with the president when he says that we should just enforce the existing laws rather than create more bureaucracy. (Which is ironic considering W's atrophic record on enforcing immigration laws.) But this is an election year and that means politicians from both sides of the aisle will exacerbate the problem with more laws.

Until Mexicans are free from the yoke of culinary oppression, the United States should strictly enforce immigration laws with more border patrols and deportations. Though there's no need to be as harsh about it as the Mexican government.

  • B. Sides @ 10:34 AM
  • March 07, 2006

    Photograph Of The Day
    Clearly disappointed, the cast of Brokeback Mountain is seen here leaving the Oscars.

  • B. Sides @ 10:50 AM
  • Thousands of Deadly Islamic Terror Attacks Since 9/11


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