BROADSIDES

January 03, 2008

Presidential NO-dorsements
Happy New Year, Dear Readers.

Several emailers have asked about my preference for the Republican presidential nomination. Um, can we change the subject?

Let's talk about something else...

How about Ohio State's impending BCS Championship?

Or the weather?

Or Britney Spears' slutty sister?

Or how about the candidates whom I would never support for the GOP presidential nomination nor vote for even if they were the nominee? Let's go with this topic. (And for those who wanted to discuss Britney's knocked-up sibling, well, you're creepy.)

Among the gaggle of GOP presidential candidates, there are a few who are an anathema to me because their political record runs contrary to the very essence of Republicanism -- which is, to paraphrase Ronald Reagan, achieving and protecting "the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with an orderly society." What follows is a list of those phony Republicans; these are my Republican presidential NO-dorsements:

John McCain
If I told you about a presidential candidate who ...

... opposed the Bush tax cuts;
... led the charge to stop the Republican Senate leadership from requiring the Senate to obey the Constitution by confirming the president's judicial nominations with a simple majority vote;
... routinely attacked Don Rumsfeld and demanded the former defense secretary's resignation;
... called on the president to close the terrorist detainment facility at Guantanamo Bay, thus falsely implying that American military personnel were mistreating terrorist detainees there;
... strongly supported Ted Kennedy's amnesty plan for illegal aliens; and
... sought to defend terrorist detainees against America's use of the very effective (and harmless) waterboarding technique ...

... you would assume, understandably, that I was describing a Democrat. But that's all John McCain. And if that isn't enough reason to oppose this counterfeit Republican, there is McCain's infamous full frontal assault on the First Amendment -- the McCain-Feingold Act. And as for McCain's ethics, I have one two words: Keating Five.

On a personal level, I can tell you that John McCain is among the most monstrously arrogant people in American politics. (Compared to McCain, that pompous ass Jack Kemp looks modest.) Maybe that's why Arizona's liberal senator has been a presidential candidate for about as long as Harold Stassen.

Ron Paul
A Republican (allegedly) congressman from Texas, Dr. Ron Paul is the darling of the traitorous MoveOn.org left. Since entering the Republican presidential race, Paul has repeated his warped view that the September 11 terrorist attacks were America's fault and that the war on terrorism is wrong and should end. Paul's Blame-America-First views have motivated kook leftists to donate major money to his campaign. And if you don't believe that, ask yourself why Paul trails badly in most Republican polls despite record-setting campaign fundraisers. Don't be surprised if someday it comes out that limousine-leftists like crazed billionaire and international fugitive George Soros were connected to Paul's fundraising success.

On domestic issues, Paul fancies himself a libertarian. That's fine. But what's the point of having a president who promotes liberty throughout the land if he is unwilling to shield that liberty from enemy attack? What use is there to replacing the income tax with a sales tax, as Paul has proposed, if a mushroom cloud is hanging over New York City or Washington or Chicago or Los Angeles? I doubt Ron Paul will honestly answer those questions because, to do so, would mean losing all that leftist cash.

Mike Huckabee
The former governor of Arkansas gives me the willies. (Hey, I just a made a funny there!)

Anyone from Ohio will know what I mean when I say Mike Huckabee is a Voinovich Republican. A Voinovich Republican is a Democrat who opposes abortion. On most other issues, especially on tax increases, a Voinovich Republican stands proudly with the Democrats.

As governor of Arkansas, Huckabee presided over massive tax increases. One stat that I heard is that taxes during the Huckabee administration rose by 43%. Amazingly, Huckabee smothered Arkansans with more taxes than Bill Clinton.

The centerpiece of Huckabee's domestic proposals is a flat income tax. Not surprisingly, he has made no promise to oppose tax hikes. (Making the income tax flat doesn't mean much if the flat tax percentage continually rises.) And then there's Huckabee's unconstitutional proposal for a national smoking ban. He's in favor of this, he said, because his wife survived cancer. This is the kind of dangerous, egomaniacal thinking common amongst populist candidates. Just because of a personal experience with his wife's health, Huckabee believes that as president, he is entitled to ignore the Tenth Amendment and impose a national smoking ban. In Mike Huckabee's wacky world of high taxes, bans and prohibitions, there's no such thing as freedom, liberty and constitutionally-limited government.

On foreign policy matters, Huckabee gives every indication of being an utter fool. Since announcing his presidential candidacy, he has repeatedly attacked the president and the war on terrorism. His talking points on the subject sound as if they were lifted directly from John Kerry's campaign handbook. Most recently, he accused the president of having "a bunker mentality" and chided him for not having more international support for the fight against terrorism. When was the last time you heard a presidential candidate, as a matter of campaign strategy, attack an incumbent president from his own party? (Let alone an incumbent wartime president from his own party.)

Finally, there's something just downright eerie about Mike Huckabee. Maybe it's just me, but he gives off a Jim Jones-like vibe. It's as if one minute he could be asking for your vote, and then the next minute he could be laughing madly while ladling tainted Kool-Aid down your throat. (That's assuming Huck doesn't ban sugary drinks, too.)

Besides -- do we really want another Arkansas governor for president?

There you have my NO-dorsements. Under no circumstances will I ever vote for McCain, Paul or Huckabee for anything. Not even if I were waterboarded!

B. Sides @ 2:11 PM