BROADSIDES

May 21, 2004

Who Is Janis "Wiggum" Karpinski?
With all the overkill news coverage of the Abu Ghraib matter, Janis Karpinski's name should be a household word.

But it's not.

Jack Wheeler, writing in today's Washington Times, explains why:

We know conclusively that the Abu Ghraib abuse scandal is as phony as a Bill Clinton sex denial because there are no calls for the resignation of the one individual most responsible for the abuses.

That would be the officer in charge of Abu Ghraib and all U.S. military prisons in Iraq, the commander of the 800th Military Police Brigade, Army Brig. Gen. Janis Karpinski. And why have there been no calls for her resignation? Let's be honest. It is because she is a woman.

Thus the frightening lesson of the abuse scandal: Political correctness trumps national security, even in wartime.

Yes, Democratic demagogues are willing to sacrifice America's national security, to trash the morale and honor of American soldiers risking their lives in Iraq and lose the war on terrorism in order to defeat President Bush in November, so they use the abuse scandal as an excuse to go after Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. But be assured that if Gen. Karpinski was a man, demands for his accountability would be loud and clear.

It would be expected that if Gen. Karpinski were a man, he would have taken those demands like a man. But Gen. Karpinski is not and so has not. She has taken them like a woman — whining, making excuses and complaining that it's not her fault, that she's being "scapegoated."

In fact, we owe the entire Abu Ghraib scandal to the leadership failure and gross incompetence of Janis Karpinski and to her superiors' fear of doing anything about her ineptitude because she is a woman.

Yowza!

And not only is Karpinski a shitty commander, she's also a fucking idiot. Get this:

Near the town of Mahawil in southern Iraq, U.S. Marines uncovered a mass gravesite holding the remains of some 15,000 Iraqis. They were slaughtered for taking part in the Shia uprising against Saddam Hussein in the early 1990s. Saddam's agent responsible for conducting the mass killings was Mohammed Jawad Anayfas; the grave site is on land owned by him.

In July 2003, Mr. Anayfas was captured by U.S. forces and turned over to the Military Police Brigade under Gen. Karpinski's command. The Brigade Headquarters managed to lose his paperwork. So instead of contacting her superiors, Gen. Karpinski ordered Mr. Anayfas set free. Soon thereafter, Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz came to Iraq and visited the Mahawil gravesite, where he was informed by Marine Lt. Gen. James Conway how outraged the local Iraqis were over Mr. Anayfas' release. Visibly upset, Mr. Wolfowitz vowed Mr. Anayfas would be recaptured and tried as a war criminal. Mr. Anayfas is still at large, and Gen. Karpinski received no reprimand.

When confronted by the Iraqi public outcry for Mr. Anayfas — only one of several war criminals whose paperwork was lost that she released — Gen. Karpinski proceeded to evade responsibility and fabricated an entire string of deceptive excuses — just like she is doing now.

This is further proof that Life imitates The Simpsons. In one episode, Springfield's moronic, lazy-ass police chief, Clancy Wiggum, is overseeing a prison work-release detail. Among the prisoners is the diabolical criminal mastermind, Sideshow Bob. Bob has escaped unnoticed and commences plotting a nuclear attack on Springfield. As the prisoners are boarding the bus for the trip back to jail, Wiggum finally notices that something is askew:

Chief Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Prisoner Who Eats People: (cheerfully) I'm right here, chief!
Chief Wiggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?
Another Prisoner: Ehh, he ran off.
Chief Wiggum: Oh, great. Well, if anyone asks, uh...I beat him to death, OK?
Officer Lou: Right.
The bus pulls away, leaving Sideshow Bob behind.

In another episode, Wiggum answers an emergency phone call. Not wanting to be bothered, he tells the caller, "Uh, you've got the wrong number. This is 9-1-2," and hangs up.

Janis Karpinski's incompetence is not only cartoonish in its magnitude, it is criminal. She should be in jail.

B. Sides @ 9:44 AM