January 20, 2004
The Golddigger Wins And The Spaz Loses
Some expert I am; I thought Dick Gephardt would win the Iowa Democrat caucus. Not only did the Gepper lose big with 11% of the vote, he quit his bid to become America's first eyebrowless president.
Mr. Teresa Heinz née Kerry won the caucus with 38% of the vote followed by ambulance chaser John Edwards with 35%.
The big news is that Howard "The Spaz" Dean came in a distance third with a measly 18%. In recent weeks, conventional wisdom had it that The Spaz had the Democratic nomination locked up. If only that were true! But, as is usually the case in politics, conventional wisdom was wrong. True to form, Dean greeted this electoral rebuke by having a frothing-at-the-mouth mental breakdown on national television. It may be the most hilarious moment in national politics since it was revealed Monica Lewinsky had presidential DNA on her Lane Bryant dress.
Drudge links to an audio excerpt of Dean's post-caucus seizure; give it a listen. It's about as subtle as Hitler's speech at Nuremberg.
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