Pirate Attacks Giant Sausage
(Betcha that's a headline you've never seen before.)
It's not everyday that a woman dressed as an Italian sausage is attacked by a bat-wielding major league baseball player but it happened last night in Milwaukee during a Brewers-Pirates game. During the 7th inning stretch, four home team mascots costumed as various meats raced around the diamond. (What else would you expect from a town that gets drunk every night?)
As the mascots waddled past the visitors' dugout, Pirates first baseman Randall Simon unsheathed his Louisville Slugger and whacked the Italian sausage in the back of its foamy noggin. The sausage hit the ground like a ton of...well...sausage. A pile-up ensued as the giant hot dog tripped over his spicy Italian cousin. Both mascots quickly recovered, got up, brushed off their buns and continued the race.
As for Simple Simon, police arrested him after the game.
ESPN reports that prosecutors declined to charge Simon with battery but did fine him for disorderly conduct. The woman in the sausage costume, Mandy Block, said the entire episode was "kinda funny" and "ridiculous".
Judging from
the video, Simon meant no harm. Even though it was a stupid thing to do, the result was hilarious and, as an
Atkins devotee, made my mouth water.
