"See You In Hell, Dandelion!!"
When it comes to gardening,
James Lileks is a real-life Rambo:
I have no idea what is a flower and what isn’t. I mean, I can tell what’s obviously a flower, but the plants that produce a flower later always confuse me. They all look like weeds. Some of the weeds have caught on to this, and present a small blossom right away - don’t kill me, I’m pretty! Here! Pluck me! It’s on the house! So I stuck to uprooting filthy dandelions. Their leaves are ugly. Their purply stems offend. Their deep rubbery roots reveal their true characters. I roamed the yard, implement in hand, stabbing the earth and ripping out the interlopers. I heaped the dead like vanquished Orcs, and if I’d had the time I would have impaled the dandelion heads on sticks to warn off their kin.
