And On This Farm He Had A Pig, EU EU Oh My God!
The socialist overlords of the EU have managed to implement a policy that resembles satire lifted from
The Onion.
The Times of London reports that U.K. farmers "have 90 days to put a toy in every pigsty or face up to three months in jail. The new ruling from Brussels, which is to become law in Britain next week, is to keep pigs happy and prevent them chewing each other."
Give yourself a moment to absorb that.
Ready? Here's more:
Official instructions to farmers are to give pigs “environmental enrichment” by providing “manipulable material”, which the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs last night defined as balls.
A spokesman said: “We mean footballs and basketballs. Farmers may also need to change the balls so the pigs don’t get tired with the same one. Different colour ones will do. These rules are based on good welfare. We don’t want to come across as the nanny state, but the important thing is to see pigs happy in their environment and they like to forage with their noses.” He added that hanging chains were also good, since pigs could brush their noses against them. The Government is not ready to recommend specific toys, however, because they know of no firm manufacturing playthings for pigs.
But farmers should be careful about scoffing at the idea: they could be fined up to £1,000 or jailed for three months if they fail to amuse their stock. And Neville Meeker, who farms near Warminster in Wiltshire, was told by a farm standards official last week that he will lose the right to use the red tractor farm logo to market his pork if he does not buy a toy for each of 64 sties.
This policy is obviously misguided. Pigs are said to be intelligent; toys such as balls are intellecutally beneath our swine brethren. I suggest giving them Scrabble. Perhaps the home version of Jeopardy. Oh, and my favorite: Operation, the goofy game for dopey doctors. (Though a player with a hoof would have problems using the tweezers.) And for unsociable porkers, a deck of cards for Solitaire.
Who knew socialism could be so much fun? Too bad the millions of people murdered by Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and Castro couldn't live to see it.
