Gobble This! Some animal rights/vegan cult named
Farm Sanctuary is urging Americans to adopt a turkey rather than eating one this month. Apparently, these tedious busybodies think a turkey makes a swell pet.
Taking Farm Sanctuary's advice, I hurried to the grocery store today and adopted a pet Swift Premium Butterball turkey. And, frankly, I don't get it; he just sits there in the freezer motionless. He's rather aloof and unaffectionate and doesn't respond to my vocal commands.
And he doesn't do any tricks. But that'll change soon: on Thanksgiving Day, I'll use my rotisserie to teach him to roll over.
