BROADSIDES

September 27, 2002

CRACKIN' UP? Is it possible for a political party to have a nervous breakdown? Consider:

1. Al Gore. Desperate to position himself as the frontrunner for the Dem's 2004 presidential nomination, Gore -- who couldn't even carry his home state in the 2000 election -- gave a speech last Monday in which he fired a barrage of demonstrably false and weird accusations about President Bush's prosecution of the war. And when Gore blasted Bush's Iraq policy without offering alternatives, he was, in effect, siding with Saddam Hussein.

2. Tom Daschle. Not to be outdone by Gore's goofy behavior, Daschle took to the Senate floor this week and faked a hissy-fit over comments he attributed to President Bush. Daschle claimed that the president had criticized Senate Democrats' commitment to protecting Americans from terrorism and, thus, had politicized the war. There was one problem: the president never said it. Daschle demonstrated that, like most leaders in the Post-Clinton Democratic Party, he is incapable of promoting a political agenda without lying. To show his support of the majority leader's accusations, Dick Gephardt joined Daschle at a press conference the next day at which Daschle announced that he and Dick were "soulmates." (Feel free to wipe away that tear welling in your eye.)

3. Has-been singer Barbra Streisand, a real-life Norma Desmond, faxed a "memo" to Democratic congressional leaders urging them to be more aggressive in defending Saddam Hussein. The Drudge Report has the details and, judging from the photograph there, this Norma Desmond isn't ready for her close-up.

4. UPI reports that three Democratic congressmen -- David Bonior of Michigan (fresh from getting his ass kicked in his state's Dem gubernatorial primary), James McDermott of Washington (who illegally accepted an illegally taped private telephone conversation between Republican congressional leaders several years ago) and Mike Thompson of California (of whom I know nothing but am willing to bet is also a creep) -- arrived in Iraq today to essentially assist Saddam in campaigning against a U.S. efforts to liberate Iraqis. According to UPI, Thompson spoke for the treasonous trio once they arrived at the Saddam Hussein International Airport [chuckle] in Baghdad. "Referring to President Bush's assertion of a U.S. right to strike to prevent attacks on it," Thompson said that the U.S. "should not launch any pre-emptive strike against anyone in the world . . ." Told you he was a creep.

5. Ted Kennedy. The Dems decided today that America's Worst Driver should be front-and-center in the effort to oppose the liberation of Iraq. Ted oozed into the Johns Hopkins Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies where he gurgled and wheezed demands that United States put its fate into the hands of the laughably corrupt and anti-U.S. United Nations.

All this in one week. America's oldest political party -- the party of Jefferson, Jackson, Cleveland, FDR, Truman and JFK -- has reduced itself to a political version of the Jerry Springer Show.

B. Sides @ 2:34 PM