BROADSIDES

September 29, 2006

The 2006 Mitsubishi 4-Door Jihad
An Ohio car dealer recently produced a radio ad which declared a "jihad on the automotive market." According to several reports last week, the Columbus-based Dennis Mitsubishi ad also contained this priceless line:

Our prices are lower than the evildoers every day. Just ask the pope!

(Yeah, I thought it was a hoot, too.)

Even before the ad aired, the local chapter of the Council on American Islamic-Relations popped a vein; CAIR spokesman Adnan Mirza fumed that the ad is "in very poor taste and absolutely offensive." Even though dealership owner Keith Dennis defended the radio spot saying it's "fair game to poke a little fun at radical extremists," he canceled plans to air it.

Funny ... I don't remember hearing a chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations loudly condemning any of the following as being in "very poor taste and absolutely offensive":

*Iranian-backed Islamic militants take U.S. Embassy personnel hostage in Tehran for over a year (1979-1980)

*Islamic Jihad suicide bombers hit the U.S. Embassy in Beirut, killing 63 people (1983)

* Iranian-backed Hezbollah terrorists suicide-bombed and killed 241 U.S. Marines, sailors and soldiers on a U.N. peacekeeping mission in Beirut (1983)

* Shiite Islamic terrorists bomb the U.S. Embassy in Kuwait City, killing 5 (1983)

* Hezbollah terrorists detonate a truck bomb at the U.S. Embassy in Beirut, killing 24. (1984)

* Islamic terrorists in Beirut hijack a Kuwait Airways flight and kill 2 American passengers. (1984)

* TWA Flight 847 en route to Rome is hijacked by Hezbollah terrorists and forced to land in Beirut. While holding the plane there for more than two weeks, the terrorists murder an American passenger, U.S. Navy petty officer Robert D. Stethem, and dump his body onto the tarmac. (1985)

* Palestinian Islamic terrorists backed by Libya hijack the Achille Lauro, an Italian cruise ship. The terrorists murder passenger Leon Klinghoffer, an elderly, wheelchair-bound American, and dump his body into the ocean. (1985)

* Libyan-backed Islamic terrorists bomb the Vienna and Rome airports killing 20 people, including 5 Americans. (1985)

* Libyan-backed Islmaic terrorists detonate a bomb aboard Athens-bound TWA Flight 840, killing 4 Americans. (1986)

* Libyan-backed Islamic terrorists bomb a German nightclub filled with U.S. military personnel, killing one American. (1986)

* Pan Am Flight 103 en route to New York explodes over Lockerbie, Scotland killing all 259 passengers, 189 of whom were Americans, and 11 on the ground. Libyan-backed Islamic terrorists carried out the bombing. (1988)

* Ten al-Qaeda Islamic terrorists in New York City detonate a massive truck bomb in the World Trade Center parking garage, killing 6 and injuring over 1,000. (1993)

* Iranian-backed Islamic terrorists detonate a car bomb at a U.S. military base in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, killing 5 Americans. (1995)

* Iranian-backed Hezbollah terrorists detonate a truck bomb at the Khobar Towers U.S. military facility in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia, killing 19 Americans. (1996)

* al-Qaeda terrorists truck bomb the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, killing 224 and injuring over 4,500. (1998)

* In Aden, Yemen, al-Qaeda terrorists detonate an explosive-laden boat along side the U.S.S. Cole, killing 17 American sailors. (2000)

* al-Qaeda Islamic terrorists simultaneously hijack four American commercial airliners. Two are flown into both towers of New York's World Trade Center, killing 2,749 people. The third plane is flown into the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, killing 184. The fourth plane fails to reach its target and crashes into a Shankesville, Pennyslvania field after passengers overpowered the terrorists, killing 40. (2001)

* 12 people are killed at the U.S. Consulate in Karachi, Pakistan when an al-Qaeda-planted bomb detonates. (2002)

* In Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, al-Qaeda terrorists suicide bomb a housing facility occupied by Americans and Europeans, killing 34. (2003)

* Islamic terrorists murder 22 foreign oil workers, including an American, in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. (2004)

* Three Americans and a Briton are kidnapped and murdered by Islamic terrorists in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. (2004)

* Islamic terrorists attack the U.S. Consulate in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, killing 5. (2004)

* 57 people are killed when al-Qaeda Islamic suicide bombers attack three American hotels in Amman, Jordan. (2005) (source: InfoPlease.com)

Gee, that silly car ad suddenly doesn't seem all that offensive now. Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Mirza?

B. Sides @ 2:27 PM

September 27, 2006

CITGO-ING, CITGO-ING, CITGO-NE
Hugo Chavez, Venezuelan dictator and future chairman of the Democratic National Committee, predicted last week that because of his anti-U.S. speech at the United Nations, he would be targeted for assassination by President Bush.

This is wishful thinking on Chavez's part; he longs to be regarded as a major threat to the United States.

Unfortunately for Chavez, the Bush Administration reacted to his U.N. antics with little more than a diplomatic yawn. The same, however, can't be said for the American people. Aiming to kick Chavez in the financial balls, some Americans are boycotting Venezuelan gas distributor CITGO. And today, 7-Eleven Inc. advanced the cause by announcing that it will drop CITGO as the gas supplier to its 2,100 convenience stores.

The AP quotes a 7-Eleven spokesman:

Regardless of politics, we sympathize with many Americans' concern over derogatory comments about our country and its leadership recently made by Venezuela's president Hugo Chavez.

7-Eleven has just picked up a new customer. From now on, I'm buying all my giant slurpees, smoked sausages and lottery tickets at 7-Eleven!

B. Sides @ 2:27 PM

September 26, 2006

Daddy Dearest
There's always been a bit of mystery surrounding the identity of the man who sired Bill Clinton. Well, I think I've solved it. Check out the strong family resemblance: click here and then here.

B. Sides @ 12:40 PM

The Crybaby-In-Chief
It was deja vu. Watching an angry, red-faced Bill Clinton wagging his finger as he whined denials to less-than-pleasant facts about his conduct as president. And as was the case in the infamous Lewinsky press conference, Classless Clinton was -- GASP! -- lying to Chris Wallace during the Fox News Sunday interview.

What is it with Clinton and his index finger? When caught in his own web of lies, he shakes The Finger at people in a shame-on-you manner. He also uses The Finger to poke people; these pokes come in two varieties: the Monica Poke and, as we saw on national television last Sunday, the Chris Wallace Poke.

When Clinton repeatedly poked Wallace's knee to angrily emphasize a point, I was hoping Wallace would respond in one of the following two ways:

1) "Mr. President, I know you're used to touching people below the waist but, unlike you, I'm a happily married man. So hands-off, hillbilly."

2) "BAD TOUCH!! BAD TOUCH!!"

Alas, Wallace held his tongue.

Of all the bullshit Clinton piled during that interview, the most outrageous lies concern Osama bin Laden. Clinton whined, "I worked hard to try to kill him." Later, after making the ludicrous claim that no president came as close to killing bin Laden as he did, the perennial adolescent pouted, "But at least I tried. That's the difference in me and some ..." (And here I always thought you'd had to be at least 35-years-old to be president, and yet, America apparently elected a child.)

It's interesting that Bill repeats claims that he tried to "kill" bin Laden after the terrorist received refuge from the Taliban and elements in Pakistan. However, he conveniently fails to mention (and this is key) that bin Laden was based in The Sudan before moving to Afghanistan, and that the Sudanese government repeatedly offered to turn the terrorist bigwig over to the United States. Stunningly, Clinton refused the Sudanese offers.

The answer as to why Clinton declined to take custody of one of the world's most dangerous terrorists can be found in a mindblogging Clinton quote that I wrote about four years ago. The quotation is from Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist David Halberstam's book, War in a Time of Peace: Bush, Clinton, and the Generals. Halberstam writes about a meeting in Washington in late 1992 between President-elect Clinton and the Democratic committee chairman from the House of Representatives. When he met Lee Hamilton, the-then chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Hamilton advised Clinton, "Well, Mr. President, we have China. Whatever you do on China, you're only going to please half the people. Then, there's Saddam Hussein --" Clinton interrupts Hamilton and says, "Lee, I've been traveling around our country for a year and no one cares about foreign policy other than about six journalists." Astonished, Hamilton replied, "That may be true but the last presidents have been defined by foreign affairs."

There you have it: Bill Clinton just didn't really care about bin Laden or any other foreign policy matter.

As I wrote in September of 2002, this stunning conversation illustrates the Clinton approach to politics: "Since opinion polls didn't reflect a substantial concern about foreign affairs, President Bill Clinton had no intention of exhibiting leadership on any foreign policy issue. And the enemies of the United States made the most of it."

And thousands of Americans were murdered.

So when Bill Clinton concluded in 1992 that he and most others didn't "care" about foreign policy and governed accordingly, he unwittingly imposed a death sentence on thousands of his fellow citizens.

Clinton's overly defensive behavior on Fox News Sunday suggests that, deep down, he knows the truth and is tortured by it. And justly so.

B. Sides @ 8:07 AM

September 22, 2006

Repent! For The End Is Near!
If this isn't a sign of the apocalypse, I don't know what is.

B. Sides @ 11:26 AM

Dems Are Outraged!!!! (Eventually)
After taking a day to reflect, contemplate and conduct overnight polling, the Democrats decided that they are (or, more accurately, should pretend to be) outraged at the insults their fellow Marxist, Hugo Chavez, directed at President Bush.

Popeye Pelosi called Chavez an "everyday thug."

Chuck Schumer, who's turned jumping in front of cameras into an aerobic exercise, labeled Chavez's comments as "despicable."

And Charlie Rangel, who was apparently upset that Chavez stole his act, had this warning for the Venezuelan dictator:

You don't come into my country, you don't come into my congressional district, and you don't condemn my President ... I just want to make it abundantly clear to Hugo Chavez or any other president: don't come to the United States and think because we have problems with our president that any foreigner can come to our country and not think that Americans do not feel offended when you offend our chief of state.

Exactly! Saying grossly offensive things about our chief of state is Charlie Rangel's job, dammit. This was just another case of a foreigner stealing an American's job!

Let's cut through the donkey crap. As their delayed response suggests, these Democrats weren't bothered in the least by Chavez's speech and probably smiled a bit when they heard it. Then, no doubt, polling was conducted overnight which indicated: 1) most Americans strongly disapproved of Chavez; 2) Bush's approval rating improved as a result; and 3) the Dems' lack of response on the topic was hurting them with voters.

If Democrats were legitimately angry at Chavez, they would have more to offer than feigning outrage. They would propose consequences for Chavez's behavior, such as promoting a nationwide boycott of CITGO -- the company which organized the Chavez rally in Harlem and is the face of the Venezuelan government's oil monopoly.

But don't hold your breath; Democrats would never organize such a CITGO boycott. In fact, some of the Democrats' kindred spirits are doing just the opposite: urging consumers to buy CITGO gas as a show of support for Hugo Chavez. (Tip of the hat to The Buzz Blog.)

B. Sides @ 10:02 AM

September 21, 2006

The Democrats' Dilemma
Yesterday, an old pal emailed me asking what I thought about the speeches Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez gave at the United Nations.

My reply:

Lincoln said it's better to be thought a fool rather than to speak and remove all doubt. In the case of Ahmadinejad substitute the word "maniac" for "fool". And with Chavez, use the word "clown."

Today Chavez, who is the trailer trash of the international community, put me in mind of the time Nikita Khrushchev arrived at the UN, pounded his shoe on the desk and warned the West, "We will bury you." The funny thing about Hugo is that the Bush Administration has always ignored him--which drives him nuts. He wants so badly to be the new Fidel, to be the one world leader who irritates America the most and to get into a pissing-match with the U.S. But all he seems to get from the U.S. is indifference. And this leads him to say even more outlandish things. Though his country is oil-rich and he's forging alliances with Iran and Syria, he's no strategic threat at this point.

Ahmadinejad, on the other hand, is a legitimate threat; and that speech should prove it to anyone who, up until yesterday, was too slow-witted to have figured that out already. His prayer before the UN General Assembly was downright chilling.

Ironically, these two speeches will help Bush politically because they confirm everything he has been warning us about our enemies. And the fact that Democrats are making little or no effort to denounce Ahmadinejad and Chavez will remind voters that Dems, to characterize it diplomatically, are not to be trusted with national security.

But I'm in no mood to be diplomatic; these speeches sounded like they were written by Howard Dean and John Kerry. This is what it has come to: the rhetoric of America's enemies mirrors DNC talking points. Example: [at a recent party] a lefty walked up to me and said with a smirk of smug self-satisfaction, "Your president has really screwed up. We've got to get our troops out of Iraq now." I replied, "Osama bin Laden agrees with you." The smirk disappeared. Then I asked, "Does that bother you at all?" He stuttered a bit and replied, "That's bullshit." and changed the subject.

I'm sure I'm not the only voter to notice that it's getting difficult to tell the difference between the Democrats and the vermin who want to destroy our country.

So the biggest dilemma facing Democrats today is who to choose to deliver the keynote address at their 2008 national convention -- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Hugo Chavez.

B. Sides @ 5:12 PM

September 11, 2006

Patriot Day
On the fifth anniversary of the attacks of September 11, 2001, we recall the fire and horror at the twin towers of the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and a Pennsylvania field. America will always remember the thousands of innocent lives taken by the enemies of freedom that morning.

In the face of these unspeakable attacks, we were reminded that the great strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of our citizens. We witnessed firefighters, police officers, other public safety officials, and ordinary Americans demonstrate extraordinary courage, risking their lives to save innocent victims. We saw our country united in compassion as Americans came together to provide relief and bring hope to others.

Today, America is fighting a war that is testing our Nation's resolve. We are once again answering history's call with confidence, and we know that freedom will prevail. Our brave men and women in uniform have stepped forward to fight our enemies abroad so that we do not have to face them here at home, and we are grateful for the courageous individuals bringing terrorists to justice around the world.

We are also confronting the extremists in the great ideological struggle of the 21st century. September the 11th made clear that, in the long run, the only way to secure our Nation is to advance liberty and democracy as the great alternatives to repression and radicalism. By working together with our friends and allies, we are helping spread the blessings of freedom and laying the foundations of peace for generations to come.

The events of September 11, 2001, will always be a defining moment in our history. We hold the victims and their families in our hearts, and we lift them up in our prayers. -- President George W. Bush

B. Sides @ 8:51 AM